Mummy is very dissapointed today because you refused to go back home with mummy and daddy. Anyway, this is not the first time you refused to go back with us, because initially, we thought that you had too much fun with all your favourite uncles and aunties and we do understand how you feel when it is time to say goodbye.

The second time you did that was when mummy and daddy rushed back from work and were so eager to fetch you home. Although mummy and daddy always complained that we were so tired, never ever once we left you overnight at your Oma’s place. Although mummy and daddy had the intention to watch midnight movies or chilling with friends at pub/cafe and to leave you overnight at Oma’s place, it never happens because we love you too much and we feel like so kesian gitu kena tinggal with Oma.

Today, it happened again. This time round was quite bad because you refused to let mummy or daddy to hold or touch and you wailed so loudly as if mummy and daddy are like strangers to you when we wanted to bring you back home. Mummy almost wanted to cry but mummy wouldnt want to embarass herself and treat it as a small matter. It is not a small matter to mummy, because mummy cannot understand and do not understand why you reacted that way. Was it because mummy has been too hard for you? Did mummy force you to do something that you dont like? Mummy know that although you are only 2 yrs and 5 months old, you are already a smart boy and that you knew what we adults were thinking. Was it because you are angry because mummy no longer wants to breastfeed you? Or was it because mummy is pregnant and that you feel that mummy will not love you anymore?

My dear son Shibly, mummy loves you too much and this is part of the reason why mummy has to blog about this. Although some people may think mummy is crazy and so sensitive nak mampos, mummy will not care a bit of what they feel. Because mummy is the one who gave birth to you and had fight the battle of breastfeeding to breastfeed you tilll this old. Mummy has willing to sacrifice a lot of things for you and mummy feels that mummy has the right to feel sad, hurt and emo with your sudden changes.

As far as mummy could remember, never ever once mummy dares to leave you overnight at your Oma’s place or to anybody’s place. If it ever happened that you stayed at Oma’s place the whole weekdays and mummy only brings you back during the weekend, mummy could relate the feeling of why you do not wish to go back home with us. But why my son? Why this sudden changes? Do you not love mummy anymore?

You may not understand about this whole matter. YOu may not even aware that what you did has hurt mummy and daddy’s feeling because you are still a baby. Yes, you are still a baby in our eyes.Im sorry my son for being sensitive with you. Maybe mummy is still very childish to feel this way. But trust me my son, mummy will never ever give up on you and that mummy will still love your more and be fair towards you once your baby brother/sister comes out into this world.

I LOVE YOU SHIBLY!!!

Lately, Shibly has started to sleep on his own without relying on my breastmilk. I usually had to breastfeed him until he fell asleep but it seems that he is trying to wean off slowly. That is a good sign because i have been hoping for it and has been wanting to make him decide on his own when he should stop weaning.Just for you info, Shibly is currently 2 yrs and4 mths old :

I no longer has to worry about continuing to breastfeed him until dont know how many more years to go. I think he slowly get the sign that I am pregnant. NOw, i get to relax more and concentrate on my pregnancy.

I am currently in my 16 weeks (4 mths) and comes April, i will get to know the gender of my baby. I am as usual, excited, just like how i first get to know that I am pregnant with Shibly. The feeling of being a mother again is so priceless and that i must learn how to cope with 2 kids in future.

Cant wait to shop for baby stuffs all over again. It it is a boy, it would be great, at least Shibly has someone to fight fight with. If it is a girl, hmm..bonus for me. Looks like i gotta spend more money for her clothings and all.

Wish me luck!

Im not in the mood to blog but i find this blog of mine rather pitiful. Been keeping this blog alive since the year of 2007 and i kinda miss this blog of mine so much.

Thank you to those who has not forgotten to visit this blog. I need motivation to blog about my life, be it interesting or boring and i know that i need to share the journey of my 2nd pregnancy. Although it has not been really good as the 1st one, im glad that everything has been going smoothly at this moment. Yes, i just hope everything will be all right.

I realised that i have not been looking so good with this 2nd one, i just feel so lazy to dress up, to put on make up and i still find my face so pale even though i tepek2 kan the make up on my face. Why? I hate this feeling ok?

So to motivate myself going to work everyday, i’ve decided to buy many2 clothes and many2 shoes but then i found that it is all a waste. I dont know why but i easily loathe the sight of my new clothes and shoes. Just feel like ‘not enough’ shopping. So selfish and stupid right?

Ok bye. I’ll blog again when i have the time. I know the ending is like so abrupt. Lol!

Lots of loathing,

Natyler.