Went to Chinatown for lunch.  I’ve decided to wear dress this morning. Dah macam nak pergi D&D pulak. Very vain nak mampos!

Gf @ work

Me!

Going crazy.

That’s for now. Till i see you again!

Let me share with you the journey of my breastfeeding story for 18 mths (ya I know 18 mths is nothing but at least a little success for a first time mum like me and yang suka merokok dan berfoya foya dulu) lol!

If not because of my friends and family members’s support, I wouldn’t make it this far. And the first person that I would like to thank is my gf, Ima. She is the bestest gf since I was in Secondary One.

When I first gave birth to Shibly, I thought that breastfeeding is just another not so important issue and that it can be done on and off whenever I like. I thought that I have the power to control my milk and decide when I should give my boy and when is the time that I should relax. But boy, I was wrong.

 I was fortunate that Ima was with me during the first day of my labour. Right after when the nurse came in and told me to milk my boy, I thought of asking for formula since I wasn’t ready to breastfeed him. When the nurse left, Ima came to me and asked if I wanted to breastfeed him or decides on formula. And so I chose to feed him with formula milk but Ima told me that breastfeeding is good and that I should try to breastfeed him. Of course lah I was reluctant because I don’t know how it feels if Shibly sucks my nipple. Will it be very ticklish? Steamy and some other nonsense dirty thoughts that came through my mind. Will there be any milk on my breast?

 Ima then asked for my permission if she could teach me how to breastfeed. Again, I felt reluctant but then I slowly began to open up my mind and think positively. I loosened up my buttons and let her touched my breast. It was weird I tell you but I have no choice and let her demo how to get the milk out of my breast. I was really blur and she told me to turn and twist my nipple until the milk came out. Well, to make it short, she then asked me to carry Shibly and hold him near my breast. I then told her..”tak payah dulu lah. Shibly tgh tidur tu. Dia blum nak susu lagi.” (Padahal dah takut tau nak tetekan Shibly)

Right after I told Ima that, Shibly then cried. I was like lar macam tau pulak budak ni. So I brought him near to my breast and kept quiet. Ima then told me that I have to be very patience and not to give up on him. Again, I was really blur. I tried to bring his mouth closer to my nipple but Shibly doesn’t seem to respond. He just kept quiet and still searching on something to suck. I then realised that newborn baby need time to be introduced to a thing called nipple. Although they may learn to suck their thumb in our womb, that doesn’t mean that they automatically knows how to suck our nipple. I began to give up cause it was kinda of tiring and frustating to see him struggling on my breast and started to cry. But luck was on my side. About 5 minutes later, Shibly started to recognise my nipple and began to suck slowly. And when he suck, I felt very stiffed. I was afraid to move just in case Shibly started to feel irritated with the movement of my body. Ima then gave me a pat and praised Shibly for being such a clever baby. I was happy but still lost why she did that.

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