Well well, if you’ve been following my twitter regularly, you will understand how I feel right now.

You know, when you have small circle of friends (really small, less than 5 members in a group) in your life, it is a sign to show that you are safe from being gossiped or gossiping about others. The chances of you gossiping about others will be less and the chances of you being gossiped by others also may be less too (that depends on the kind of friends you are with).

So my problem here is, I’ve reduced the percentage of friends whom I wanted to gossip with because I am now being far far away from them and realised that i am only left with very few friends whom I trust. I am not sure if this is a good or bad sign because at times, there are something about them which i don’t feel right and not sure if i should discuss this to the other friends because i do not want to end up playing a bitching game and be a hypocrite. I mean, at times you have to be a hypocrite but depending on the situations. If such situation deserves you to be one, then you have to so as not to hurt others. But wheareas a situation need you to be the real friend, you have to knock some senses to your friend and tell them how you feel towards them.

Told you, I wish I could blog all it out but I just can’t seem to find the right sentence to blog. Im not talking about my poor grammar but I am here talking about human’s feeling. Yes. That’s it. I am back being self conscious so as not to hurt other’s with my ‘kind thoughts’. I always end up hurting others when I am trying to be honest and direct with them and they will also end up trying to hurt me back with their words and attitudes. It’s like never-ending! *roll eyes* I do feel hurt and i am a human being too but some people just don’t care how you feel. I know that i am a nobody but gosh, i don’t how to spit it out here.

Sometimes i don’t really know where i stand when comes to friendship. I wonder if they ever thought of all the good things that i’ve done to them but all i can only hear is “i am hurt with your words”. I mean, who dont? I am hurt too but i don’t really voice out to them because i still care for them. But when they talk, they don’t think about me. They just yell and rants about their unhappiness and what am i? A piece of garbage or what?

Frankly speaking, I don’t like to blog about happiness only and I am not good in hiding my bad flaws in the public. I just wanted to be myself and rant whatever I want without wanting to know how the world feels about me. It is okay if you dislike the way I blog because at least I am trying not to be a fake or prententious blogger who only knows how to show off their wealth butts and how fashionable you and your friends are. And then, trying to create unnecessary sentences like being sarcastic to someone you dislike in your entries. That is like 100% full of shits.

I am really tired to entertain others and give advices to them but end up, they are not listening to you and choose to do what they want. There are always a limit to everything and i am sure that we all have problems but it is a matter of how you handle it. Maybe, it is good to be a fake friend than a real friend so that you will end up praising one another without knowing any sorrows or what is so hurtful in a friendship.

You know, sometimes i feel like crying and thinking that all the good friends i once had has left me. Was it myself who got the problems or them? Of course i am not a good or perfect friend lah and there are always something which i dislike about others but do they actually know what’s the reason of me behaving like that?

Maybe i loathe of hearing or looking at the same thing again and again and jealousy arised when someone are much more better than me.

Jealousy is an evil thing which nobody can run away from it. Sometimes we don’t realise that we are actually jealous of something because we are all too egoistic and will never admit that we are just plain jealous over someone or something.

I think it is best for me to remain what i am now. I am being far away from lots of bitching and gossiping and i am left with my family to depends on. I never say that i want to throw my friends away but i prefer to have this quiet life at the moment. I am still keeping few friends in my heart right now and i just hope that one day, everything will turn out fine.

I hardly meet my siblings and i always tried to make an attempt to go over their place whenever they invited me for some small celebrations, for instance, birthday party. I am not ashamed to say that I am much more closer with my in-law’s side rather than my own family. Of course, nobody wished to have a one sided family affair. But at times, you really have no choice but to adapt to a new environment and learned to appreciate them while you can.

The only family who never stop caring for me is my mother. She never failed to cook for me every weekend and will go to the extend of delivering her home-cooked meal to my place. She travelled by bus from Q’town to Old Airport Road. She will helped me with the house chores and made coffees for my husband. I think she loves her son in law rather than her own daughter because she always give first priority to my husband, like, she will cook my husband’s favourite food and etc…. hehehehe..how sweet!

Anyway, back to the story. It was Sarah Sajwa & Safa Alisha’s birthday. And the clever me bought the wrong gift to the wrong kids. You see, my eldest brother have 3 kids, Sarah, Sufi & Safa. And i thought that it was Sarah & Sufi’s birthday. Hahaha…So i bought 2 gift for Sarah & Sufi. When i came there, my sister in law told me it was not Sufi’s but it was Safa. Lol! Ok fine, i know that you guys are getting confused with the names. It doesn’t matter. Because at the end of the day, we were all having fun and they got the prezzies.

Shibly at the void deck, getting ready to meet his cousins and nephews.

As usual, Shibly doesn’t seems to be interested mingling with other kids. There were times where Shibly was being too over friendly with people. He would say HELLO to them and giving them his ‘oh-im-so-cute’ face. He’s a bit kepala angin lah. Not sure who he inherits it from. *hint hint* But most of the time, he prefers to be at his own world and stick with the adults. I think he is still at the verge of ’senang kena bully’ because most of the kids out there were bigger than him. From what i can see is that, he doesn’t retaliate when he was being pushed or shoved by other kids. My poor son. He will just whine a bit when he was being pushed. Kesian tau dia. The only time that i saw him retaliated when he was in a very bad mood. There was once he scolded my friend’s son because that poor kid was trying to be friendly with him and since Shibly was very moody due to lack of sleep, he almost beat up that poor kid but was unsuccessful. Hee hee.

Sometimes i am not sure if i should worry about these things. I just feel that i shouldn’t teach my son to retaliate whenever someone bullies him because they are kids after all. I mean, what does kids know? You can’t beat them right? When the time is right, maybe i should teach him the correct way of retaliating. I don’t want my son to become a ‘hero’ at a very young age. He will then grows up as an arrogant boy. Oh please!

Sarah Sajwa, my beautiful nephew. She was mesmerized with my beauty outfit(lol!) . It looks like i was the only one yang feeling² celebrity at the place. I was a bit embarassed though cause no one really dressed up, except for ME! waduh waduh, over sungguh sekali auntie kamu ni ye. Saraj kept asking me where i bought this dress lah, itu lah, ini lah. So cute!

With my eldest brother and Safa, Shibly, Sarah, Sufi and my cousin (damn, i forgot her name! ok her name is Aishah!)

It seems that i lack the update of my son’s well-being. I remembered that i used to update about his well-being when he was still a baby. It’s not that my son is not progressing but i feel that there is nothing much to update at this stage. He can say few words and yada yada yada, nothing special or very ‘on’ punya toddler lah. I mean, i am not the kind of mother who are very detailed with the progress of my son. I knew some mothers are like that. They are proud to share what their kids can do at their age. Which mothers don’t right? As for me, I rather people to judge my son when they see him personally. But of course not the kind of people who just lashed out their tongue and say something stupid about my son lah. That kind of person sure kena beating punya. Heheheh. I am just contented that Shibly is a well behaved boy.

Ok. It’s time to sleep. More peekture will be updated in my facebook, itupun kalau ada time lah ye. Night!

I am gonna miss my one and only Minah Rep girlfriend. I am gonna miss her funny antic, her whining, her perasan jambu and sexy, her cries, her dance step (she likes to update me on what is ‘new’ in the dancefloor and discos and boyfriends and so many things lah!)

At times, i find her very irritating and i can’t stand her attitude too. But at times, i love her and treasure our friendship.Unfortunately, her relationship with guys has never been good. At times, i had to listen to her broken-hearted story. That’s what made me pissed off with her because she never listen. That’s how stubborn she is. And this girl is Alia Maria.

Last Friday was her last day. She cried and she expected us to cry with her too. She’s crazy but really, i miss her!!! One thing i don’t understand is, she likes to wear school shoes to work. *roll eyes*. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter anymore because i could never find anyone as crazy and daring as her in my office, forever…

Alia, im not sure if you still follow up my blog. But i wish you all the best and i hope that we can still keep in touch. I know that you never get angry with me even though i call you Minah Rep. I remembered you once admitted to me that you are unique minah rep, kan?? kan? kan? Lol! And no one will update me what is going on at double O and the world of minahs! And i am forever going to be the katak bawah sink. Take good care of yourself and please please please, never fall in love with guys too easily. And please find someone who are stable and not NS guys PLEASE?? Not because of they are broke, but because they too young for a serious relationship and they will only make use of your money to support them.

I know that you will say that i am just the same as your MOTHER. Nag here and nag there but all these are for your own good. It is hard to find a GOOD guy. So please. Be wise when choose a boyfriend ok? Love you muah muah!

This will be my last time to camwhore with the little bad girls! They are so much younger than me and i treated them like my adik. Not adik angkat. Very typical kan? Lol!

She was crying and had to cover herself with that big red envelope!

Browsing through our short and sweet kata-kata pujangga…

Her farewell gifts

The 2 Marias…

Most of the times, our customers are confused with us. And most of them think that we are one same person. Ha ha ha ha….

Being troubled by something which is NOTHING. Lol!

I was trying to look at her underwear. LOL!

I don’t know what’s the motive.

Comes one week later…it is gonna be her last day too. HOw sad sad sad…..

My office will be going to be very very very boring nak mampos!

Why is it that we never treasure the one whom sit in front of us everyday but gonna miss them when they are gone?

Will try to camwhore with this girl as much as i can before she leaves the office.